Appointment

I went to my first appointment today with the counselor. Of course, I start crying 5 minutes in. She mostly asked about my family and why I decided to make an appointment with her. I had to take a personality test that took forever, but will help her decide what in the world to do with me. :) She said during our next appointment, which isn't until the 23rd, we would get into my history with my anxiety. That should be so fun. But, it felt cathartic to talk about it.

My parents haven't been getting along very well. We moved down to Richmond two years ago, and my dad continues to work in Northern VA, so he drives up there 2 or 3 times a week. He always says he hates it here and blames my mom for bringing us down here. He wants to move back. He said if he could find somewhere to live up there, he would be "long gone." It makes me sad that he doesn't want to live with us anymore. My mom said she doesn't want to move back there, and she shouldn't have to. I think he's being selfish. He wants my mom to find a job. She's resorted to going to a job fair for a nursing home just to please him. It makes me so angry that we all have to cater to him. I wish he would go to a doctor and get on an antidepressant...I think it would really help him. But he refuses to believe that something is wrong with him. It has gotten to the point where when he's home, everyone is so tense because we're all afraid he's going to lash out about something. I don't know what will happen. My mom said maybe it's better that he leaves. But I don't want her to worry about growing old alone. It just isn't fair to her. But this isn't any way to live, either. It's like walking on eggshells around him. Most of the time, I can let it go in one ear and out the other, but I take it personally when he says he doesn't want to live with us anymore.

Layla is doing well...she's calmed down a bit and has been sleeping better. I took her to work the other day and she was such a good girl. But I don't want to bring her every day because whenever I get up, she gets up, too. So she'll stay in her crate or my mom will let her out when I'm not here. We're getting more used to each other, and I'm feeling less guilty about abandoning Lily. She seems to be doing fine with her, too. She got a haircut, finally!



So,that's it. It's been an emotionally exhausting day. I'm ready for the weekend!