Postpartum

I think I have postpartum depression.

Today is day two with Miss Layla. She's the sweetest little thing. She follows me EVERYWHERE and wants to be in my lap all the time. She slept well in her crate, but Lily didn't...she kept looking at Layla's crate all night and was up and down off the bed. I feel so bad for her...I knew she would be effected by bringing a new dog into the house, but I didn't want her to be negatively effected. The poor thing looks so jealous sometimes. And I miss her. She was (and still is) my baby. She was the only one that got attention. Now I have to give this new dog all of my attention. It's hard to balance between the two.

I definitely feel overwhelmed. I've never had something that has depended on me for everything. My mom takes care of Lily during the day and feeds her every night. But I have to do everything for this new dog. It just feels strange to be responsible for something. There are times throughout the day when I just want the dog to go away and leave me alone because she's ALWAYS there. And I feel so guilty that I feel that way because she didn't have a good life before she came here, and I think she's having such a great time here. I've felt a little anxious while she's been here because it's something new, even though I should feel excited and happy that I have a new, cute little dog. And I am, most of the time. I guess it will just take some getting used to.

My parents are going away tomorrow to see my dad's parents. I'm not used to being in the house at night without one of them there. I'm really not looking forward to it, especially now because I feel anxious about the dog. And anxious about them going. Just anxious all around! Hopefully it will get better as the days go by and the dog gets used to being here. I can already tell a huge difference in how happy she is from yesterday. As soon as she got out of her crate this morning, she was ready to go.

I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle today. I'm such a dork, I know. But I've always liked puzzles, and this one was of Times Square in NYC. I think I severely underestimated the size of the thing. It's going to be huge and it's going to take forever. But at least it will keep my mind off of myself for awhile.

Gotta go now...the pup has fallen asleep in my bed - a big no-no! I'm trying to keep her away from the bed because that is Lily's place. She's quite a handful!