Little Victories

After my mom read my blog post, she said I should focus more on my "little victories" rather than focus on the negative things. Maybe thinking about the things that I've done without anxiety recently would give me more confidence when it comes to trying new things.

• Moving to Richmond was a huge change for me. I had lived in Manassas my entire life. But I knew that I would have my family with me and be closer to my sister. I had to leave my hometown and start classes at a brand new, HUGE university where I didn't know a single person other than my sister. But, I did it without having any panic attacks. :)
• I applied to pharmacy school and was called to come down to MCV for an interview by some faculty members. I was soooo nervous, but didn't get sick the night before. The day of the interview I drove downtown (which I had never been to before) and found my way to the MCV campus. I had to introduce myself in front of all the other interviewees and write an essay on the spot. Then, I met with a faculty member and an alumnus of the pharmacy school for an interview. I knew when it was over that I totally bombed it...I knew that I just sounded like an idiot. I was supposed to have another interview with two more people after that one, but I started crying after the first one because I had messed it up so bad. I totally just up and left...I didn't want to go into the next interview when it was so obvious that I had been crying. So when they called me to find out what happened, I faked sick. But they invited me to come back and finish the interview. Which I did. I didn't want to go back at all, but I knew that I had to finish what I started. I didn't get into pharmacy school, but I was glad that I went back and finished the interview.
• I am definitely NOT a good traveler...I don't like being in the car for long periods of time, and I don't like being away from my house and my bed. But I went to New York City with my mom and sister without having any anxiety. I drove most of the way there and most of the way back. I slept fine and had a really great time. I know that if I was able to relax like I did on this trip, I'd have lots of good times!

So, those are some little victories I've had in the past two years. It's hard to focus on the things that go well when the things that don't go well weigh so much more heavily on your mind. But it's important to remember that I CAN do these things. The more things I can do without anxiety, the more confidence I'll have when I have to do things that make me uncomfortable. I need more confidence so I can step out of my comfort zone more often. Hopefully more little victories will be on the way!!