Checking In

Quick check in :) Everything's still been going really well. Haven't felt anxious or nervous for a couple of days. I'm on my third 37.5mg day...almost done! I've been sleeping a lot...I'll go to bed around 11:30/midnight, and I'll still wake up a couple of times during the night. But then I'll sleep until 11:30am! That's very, very late for me to sleep. Usually I wake up around 9:30 on the weekends...but maybe my body just needs the sleep! I'm not going to complain if it's the only side effect I'm having from lowering the dosage of my medicine. Only 4 more days until I start my new medicine! :)

Rosie

Two posts in one day...a new record! I was looking through my old Facebook profile pictures and saw one of my first dog, Rosie. We got her when I was seven. I loved that dog so much. We had her for 14 wonderful years. At the end, she had to wear a baby diaper because she peed everywhere all the time. The only way we could keep it on her was to put her in a baby onesie. It sounds awful and it was probably so selfish and unfair to her because I know she didn't like it. But we just wanted to keep her for as long as we could. I still remember the day we decided to put her to sleep. I remember that the last thing I ever said to her was that I loved her so much. I went to work that day because I couldn't bear to be at home. I remember calling the house around 2pm and my dad answered, saying that my mom and sister had taken her. I could tell he was crying - it was the only time I've heard my dad cry. I don't know why I got so emotional thinking about her tonight. I guess it's the whole meds thing. Tomorrow will be 2 years and 7 months since she's been gone.

Here's a picture of my girl.

My mom and I got tattoos the day after we put her to sleep. It was her first, my second. It's a heart with a rose through it. I like to think every time it itches, she's thinking of me. :)



I won't ever forget her. I know people might think it's weird to be like this over a dog, but I considered her to be a member of my family and I'll always miss her.

Day Seven

Whoops, missed Days Five through Seven :-O I haven't really felt like writing anything. But I'm still going pretty good. After work on Tuesday, I got anxious driving home and just started crying. I was exhausted because I didn't sleep well Sunday night or Monday night. I think I was just psyching myself out more than anything. I felt like I couldn't get enough air even though I had the AC blasting. It felt like it took forever to get home, and of course when I did my face was all red from crying. My mom kept asking me what was wrong and I just didn't feel like talking. She thought I was nervous about being nervous. I felt better after a little while. I started beading to take my mind off of it. Yesterday and today have been fine. Tonight is the first night I start taking the 37.5mg Effexor. I'm out of Lunesta, too...so hopefully I'll sleep alright tonight.

I'm so glad that this week went by without any major problems. I figured I'd get a little bit anxious from time to time, but I'm thrilled I didn't get sick or have any of the symptoms I read about online. I'm never Googling anything about health again! I think you just read people's worst case scenarios. Only one more week until I start my new medicine! And one month until vacation with my family!! :)

Day Four

I didn't post for Day Three because it went much like Day Two did...still felt pretty good, with some twangs of anxiety, but overall it was okay. I had to work today so I was debating whether or not to take a Lunesta last night. I ended up taking it around 9:00 and had a hard time falling asleep. I don't think I fell asleep until a little after midnight. I slept horribly...up and down all night, tossing and turning...and I woke up around 5am and couldn't really get back to sleep. So today I am extremely tired. I don't even feel like drinking my coffee though. Usually I have about a cup and a half a day...today I probably haven't even finished one. I can feel myself getting anxious while I'm sitting at my desk...I don't know if it's from just being tired or what. I've been trying to keep myself busy, but my boss leaves for court soon and it will be a quiet afternoon. Hopefully it won't get any worse. I'm already dreading stepping down to the next dose, and that isn't even until Thursday night. Keep your fingers crossed that I make it through today in one piece!!

Day Two

It's 9:30pm on Day Two of my tapering. I didn't wake up until 11:45 today!!! I couldn't believe I slept so long...that Lunesta might work a little too well. I still felt pretty good today. I've had a little bit of a headache, but that could be from allergies. Later in the afternoon, I could start to feel myself getting a little jittery. I had a couple of moments of lightheadedness and I could feel my hands start to get shaky, but it would go away pretty quickly. I just took my Lunesta for the night so I'll probably go to bed soon. I feel like a grandma going to bed so early, but if it will help me to not feel anxious, it's worth it. Hopefully things will continue to go well! See ya tomorrow :)

Day One

It's 4:20pm on Day One of my tapering process! I took a 75mg Effexor and a Lunesta last night before I went to bed. I only woke up once during the night (because I kicked the remote off the bed) and woke up for the day around 9:30. I didn't feel any different...a little tired, but that was probably from the Lunesta. I took a nap at around 12:30 and woke up at 2. Other than being tired, I don't really have any of the withdrawal symptoms I read about on the internet (Thank God!). I hope this continues...I have a feeling that once my brain realizes it's not getting what it's used to getting, it might get a little angry! But, so far, so good! Will check in tomorrow! :)

Update

I went to the doctor today to talk about changing my medication. Since I had to wait so long for the other appointment, I went to the office that my mom goes to and saw a new doctor. She was super nice and I'm very glad I made the change. She's going to wean me off the Effexor over the next two weeks. Right now I'm taking 150mg. For the next week, I'll take 75mg, and the week after that, I'll take 37.5mg. I can't start until Thursday night because the pharmacy I go to had to order some tablets so I could cut them in half (I currently take capsules). After I finish the 37.5mg week, I'll start taking 10mg of Lexapro. This was actually the first antidepressant I took. I started it right before I went to college. I'm not sure if I was on it long enough for it to do its job, so we'll try again. If 10mg doesn't work, maybe I can up the dosage to 20mg. The doctor also gave me an rx for Lunesta for the next week. She said it will help me sleep, and the more sleep I get, the less anxiety I'll have while coming off the Effexor. She said I'd probably have some increased anxiety and trouble sleeping and might be nauseous. Compared to what I read on the internet about some people's withdrawal symptoms, these sound pretty tame. So, I'll take my first decreased dose of Effexor on Thursday night and we'll see how I feel on Friday!

Changing medication

I've decided to change my anxiety medication. I've been taking Effexor XR for around three years. I don't think it ever really worked 100% because I have still had anxiety attacks while on the medication. I just thought the hassle of changing meds wasn't worth it. But I think I've startd having some side effects from being on it for so long. For the past year, I haven't had a lot of energy, I've taken a lot of naps, and I've had headaches and haven't been able to sleep at night. I've had bloodwork done, and everything was normal, so I'm thinking it might be from the Effexor. I'd like to make the switch to a different medication before my family goes on vacation this year. I've read about the withdrawal symptoms people have had when getting off of Effexor, and they sound so horrible. Many people have had "brain zaps" where they feel like they're being shocked every time they move their head. I'm hoping that by switching to another medicine rather than just going off of it cold turkey will curb the withdrawal symptoms somewhat. I'm sure I'll be a raging bitch for the next couple of weeks. I couldn't get an appointment with the doctor until June 14th, but hopefully there will be a cancelation before then and I can get in to see her. I hope getting on a new medicine takes away the side effects from the old one. And I hope it doesn't cost as much to refill, too. ;)